Pivot Point #14: Processing our Pain or Wallowing in it?

The best way to avoid painful situations is to sidestep them in the first place. But as hard as we try, challenging situations ALWAYS have a way of finding us. It may seem counterintuitive but embracing our discomfort and processing it is the best way of working through it. However, many people confuse processing pain with wallowing in it. When we wallow, we get stuck in our pain and become perpetual victims.

Supporting us in our time of need is both healthy and appropriate. However, the level of support should be balanced and thoughtful depending on the circumstances. Usually, we don’t require the same level of acute care we required at the time of our accident. When well-intentioned observers provide the same, constant level of emotional support long after an upsetting event has passed, they unintentionally reinforce our victim mentality. Such attention can be our subconscious excuse to remain stuck in our trauma or grief.

Providing immediate and even intensive medical assistance for an acute physical emergency is appropriate. It is not appropriate to expect that same level of care after a full recovery during a routine, follow-up appointment. In other words, we are wise to follow the sage advice offered in an ancient Hindi proverb, “Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.” We benefit when we process our pain, but we extend it when we wallow.

I encourage you to take a minute to consciously evaluate your situation and ask yourself. "Am I processing this event or wallowing in it?  To learn more about how i can help you process your challenges rather than wallowing in them, schedule a free initial consultation today at the link above. Until then stay well & take care.